Monday, September 15, 2008

Bloom where you're planted!

I'm seriously considering busting out some hard core kung fu moves to get my morning coffee fix faster. It's 9:45am on monday - doesn't anyone work anymore? Shit, my throat is closing up. Is it possible that I can have a panic attack over coffee? Breathe. Refocus. Breathe. Kunf fu the bItch. Breathe. Kung fu only works in movies. Breathe. Oh my GOD!!! Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Is that my name? Angels singing Life is good again. Wait? Where is it? Large latte, extra shot...Please! Now, you damn idiot...NOW!!!

Several orgasmic minutes later and my heart rate has slowed, I'm noticably less iritated but sweat is forming on my brow. What does a girl need to do to get cozysweater whater? My afat ass needs to be in pants. Hey, weatherman, no one wants to see these cheesey withe legs anymore! Ok, so Orange county is mainly known for it's perfect weather and impossible lifestyles (ie Desperate Housewives). A consistent 74 that vaires 5 degrees depending on the season gets old. Hard to believe isn't it? And the only thing that I have in common with the re"real Housewives" is that I am just that, a housewife! Would I love to have a flashy car, awesome seasonal wardrobes and a luxurious hose? Hell ya! But I'd rather stick with husband #1, teach my kids that it's more important to have knowledge than a big fake rack. Lets face it, this level of materialism is disgusting.I wouldn't trade placed with any of them. Not even for Gucci's Fall line.

I'm obviously in a mood to bitch. Breathe....Read book. Drink coffee.

Last week was a bit of a mental disaster. Not to worry, it's just that every six months or so I freak out becaise I'm a housewife in the suburbs. Something I vowed never to be when I was globe trotting and then living ia good life in LA. And to be honost I'm still not comfortable in my role. Thus, the meltdown. But I married a kind and stable man. Now I'm more likely to spend saturdays running errands with the family than I am to hop a flight somewhere last minute.I've been trying to convince David to drop the career path and move abroad. Anywhere, his choice. All he does is role his eyes and say, "Yeah, that would be nice. Who's paying?" Details, details.

2 comments:

Jo In The Congo said...

You're a perfect housewife, not the kind you see on reality TV. You are kind and clever, and you care about the world.
And you WILL travel. Just give it time... Easy for me to say, since I am traveling right now, but still. And OC is where your friends and family are, it's also an important part of you...

Excellent post! I laughed a lot -I don't know whether this was your intention, but it made my day. Again!

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