Friday, November 12, 2010

Not too much and everything all at once

The last few weeks I have been overloaded with work, events and stress. If I'm not trying to find time to work in one of my 5 writing projects, fighting the school district for Fabrizios therapy, planning a fundraiser for a family in Thailand that helps kids with special needs, cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, being my husbands cheerleader, (and the list goes on) ...then I'm ready to pass out on the couch. Needless to say, it's been all a bit much and then it all became painful. Literally. One night in a motionless sleep, the kind where you know you woke up in the same position and you have pillow marks all over one side of your face, my back seized up. That was about 3 weeks ago and I am still in some serious pain. The idea that day to day life can completely seize up my back is frightening.

At this point it's fair to say that I feel like an old lady and am pretty sure I move like one. After all the nice young yoga instructor called me Mame and offered an "easier" position to me. Those were some not so subtle clues that I need to step up my game. 

I'm sure Fabrizio deciding my arm makes a good swing doesn't help but it's no excuse. I don't have time for my body to fail me. I don't have time to be tired but I am. I'm exhausted and if the guy who lobbied for the time change was still alive I'd probably hunt him down. Yes, I'd make time for that because he clearly never had a child who woke up at 5:30am. You should hear me begging Fabrizio to go back to sleep in the morning, it's not a pretty site.

Thankfully David has taken to rubbing my back every night, which is really a treat. And although I feel to overwhelmed to make big strides in any one area of my life I am taking baby steps forward. It's those baby steps that I have to remember because we all know that they add up over time.


JMT said...

Hmmm, not sure how I feel about reading the "I don't have time to..." and then adding something you should totally need time for -because if you have a messed up back or if you're tired you can't be really energetic and productive. What? Did I just sound like an old aunt right now? You betcha. Guuurl, take the time to feel good. I know, I don't have a child (yet :) I don't know how hectic life can be. Ok, I admit that. Still. Please do take good care of yourself. I won't even bug you to post another thing on your blog, I swear!

Jenn said...

Oh Nance! You gotta take it easy! Give yourself a break and don't put so much pressure on yourself. We all get caught up in the "shoulds," but when our physical or mental health suffers, I find it's a wake up call to slow down. Take time to nurture yourself every day, even if it's just for 20 mins. Now I'm gonna say a "should" here, but you should let me teach you how to knit. It is so very calming. I know, you don't need anything more on your plate, but when I started knitting, it really was like therapy!